Parent conferences

So, I am not sure whether it was me or the parents who were more stressed out over the conferences that I did survive.  I was so nervous about the conferences and when the first parent came I could hardly containj myself. After that one was over the rest were a breeze.  I also think the fact that my first parent asked me if I knew how to do my job and if I could handle the children. I assured her that yes, I can handle them and in fact, with my new classroom management plan, the days are going much more smoothly and I have an extra 30 minutes a day (on average) to spend answering individual questions rather than waiting for the kids to calm down and be quiet so I can continue my lesson.  This did not assure this parent, and at this point they told me I need help. I told them that we do have more help than last year and asked if she would be willing to volunteer in the classroom! I recieved a definate "NO" I can't. "Well, then, we'll just have to work with the resources available," I told her. The aid that is out there now is wonderful! She grades half of my papers every day, helps the kids with questions for about an hour each day and gives some of my spelling tests on Fridays.  I don't know what I would do without her.  But since this parent can't do anything but complain or simply tell me I need help but won't contribute to the solution, I am on my own here.  I am counting a lot on my new plan to affect the grades in the classroom.  I only had one student go down in grades and I have been working like a madwoman to figure out how to get this kid to do all of his work and turn it in.  If he does it, then he "forgets" to turn it in or if he turns it in, he "forgets" to do it.  "OH, MISS STEPP I FORGOT!!!"  Yeah right!!  He just wants me to do it for him. 
Speaking of wanting me to do their work. I had a group of fifth graders yesterday so frustrated with me because I would not just give them the answer to the phonics questions that they were working on.  They were working with words that had the prefix "co."  Codirect, comanage, consequently and the like.  I would give them the definition of the word and then show them a strategy to use to figure out the answer.  They were like, are you going to help me or not???  I told them that, of course, I would love to help them but I may not be helping them in the way they want me to.  The were puzzled and angry that I would not give them the answer. I actually think it is quite comical the way they act when I won't give them the answer and I make them use their brains to do their own work.
On another note, one of my girls said the word "underwear" in class yesterday when she was reading outloud for reading.  The word was actually "undercover" or something like that but when the word underwear was said, it sent a burst of giggles through my classroom and made my student turn brighter red than she usually is.  The other thing that brings a burst of uncontrollable laughter in my class. Farting.  Yes, as natural as it may be, farting is garunteed to bring about five minutes of giggling and accusations of "who stunk the room?" and "Open the window!" Yes, the life of a teacher and what I deal with on a daily basis.  Signing off for now...